Erisaka ([info]rebel_deep_blue) wrote,
@ 2008-06-11 15:38:00
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Current mood: disappointed

After thinking it over....
I think the only reason i hate you is b/c I never was given a good reason as to why you hate me.
I'll admit i thought you were very pretty and got shy around you when i first met you, unsure of what you thought of me.
then i got to know you, to your friends you were a great person but to those you hated, look out.
Again i tryed not to pay attention b/c i thought i could be your friend.....then a falling out. and the names started,
you said some very hurtful things and practicaly disowned people who were friends of those you were aganst. that included me.

yet now you've made up with some of them and i'm told what an amazing friend you are, and when i try to reach out to you
i'm told it's not a good idea, b/c you never liked me.

All i want to know is why?
i think i deserve that.



but hey can't please the masses everyday huh?


public entry b/c i don't care who see's this.

<3
shelbs


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[info]inject
2008-06-11 09:23 pm UTC (link)
Someone just linked me here & I tried contacting you on AIM about this but I'm guessing you are idle.

Alright, well, here's the deal. A lot of shit went down on my end that none of you ever knew about until now. To Justin and Rick & the rest, it looked like I was cutting people off simply because they were still friends with Justin & Rick. That was never true, and Justin and Rick know that now. If that were true, why would I still have been friends with people like Bill & Charles up until Katsucon? Or Han Sol, Bucky & Kiba Rob still to this day?

The people who were cut off were cut off for specific reasons. Whether it was them acting shitty to me, or I was just tired of their drama bullshit. Those I felt I wanted to keep around, I kept around.

I never cut YOU off. I barely even knew you. I met you briefly at Hollowcon, and saw you briefly at AUSA. I honestly did not think about you enough to even form much of an opinion about you. However, when someone was leaking your entries to 4chan? You immediately assumed that it was me and cut me off from your livejournal, when we hadn't even spoken in a couple of weeks, so I'd done nothing to make you assume I had any sudden additional animosity towards you. You also stated that I was just upset that Justin & Rick came to you now (which- for the record, when they were told you said that months later, they both laughed and were also pretty annoyed that you would say something untrue like that). I never once cut you off, you cut ME off. But guess what? Your entries still kept getting leaked, so it very obviously was NOT me.

However, you made that decision to cut me off. To jump to conclusions and assume that I disliked you simply because you were still friends with Justin and Rick at a time that I wasn't. That's why I don't like you. I don't hate you, hate is a really strong emotion for someone who I really wasn't ever close to in the first place. But yes, that's why I dislike you. And why I'm not hasty to patch things up with just anyone. Because now that it's the 'okay' thing to do to be friends with me again, many have come to me. But it seems a bit false to me, a lot of the time. Justin and Rick had to face a lot of bullshit in order to make things right with me again. Mandy, as well, came to me on her own, knowing she'd possibly have to face it too. I don't want to be friends with people because it's the 'popular opinion' at the time that it's alright to do so. I want to be friends with people because they actually are interested in being my friend. That aside- I've said before and I'll say it again, I'll give anyone a second chance, but I'm not really immediately trusting.

But, yeah, there you go. That's why I don't like you.

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[info]rebel_deep_blue
2008-06-11 09:32 pm UTC (link)
thank you, i'm sorry for that, and i don't expect anything i say to be taken much to heart. i was gitting information from other people and listin to them instead of making desions for myself, again.
i don't want to fallow the popular thing buy coming to you begging for a forgivesness i know it dumb and not found. i just wanted to know, and now i do.
thats all i asked.

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